'SNL' cold open has Mike Pence boycotting Starbucks on Trump's orders

Alec Baldwin returned to SaturdayNight Liveto remind us all what a distracted seven days President Trump had last week. You know, unlike all the other weeks he’s been president thus far.

Coming to us live from “Harassburg, Pennsylvania,” Baldwin’s Trump declares his intention to talk about taxes and fix all the problems eight years of Obama wrought on America – things like universal healthcare and vegetables.

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But first he’s gotta check in with his trusty VP, Mike Pence (Beck Bennett) to make sure folks are respecting the Star Spangled Banner at the Indiana Pacers game!

Credit: nbc

Okay. Back to taxes.

But wait just a second, because now Pence is at Starbucks, and we’ve GOT to make sure they’re celebrating Christmas. None of that “Happy Holidays” sacrilege, not in Trump’s America.

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“Sir, it’s October. They wouldn’t have Christmas-themed cups yet,” Bennett’s Pence patiently explains.

“They would if they respect America, Mike,” Baldwin counters. “The cups would say Merry Christmas all year, and they would show me as Santa Claus giving all the children coal, because coal is the future of this country.”

Credit: nbc

Baldwin’s Trump orders his second in command to bail on Starbucks because it’s pumpkin spice season. Who bails on pumpkin spice!?

The expected jabs at Sen. Bob Corker and Secretary of State Rex Tillerson follow – who knew IQ stands for “In-Qredible”? – but the SNLwriters mercifully spare us a Trump rap-back to Eminem’s viral BET takedown this week.

You’ll have to tune into the “White Entertainment Network, HGTV” for that. 

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TopicsSNLDonald Trump