You can now record virtual oral sex. But you have to lick your phone.

There are already virtual blow jobs for men, so why shouldn’t women be allowed to have their own virtual fun?

That’s what the webcam platform CamSoda is trying to achieve with “O-Cast,” which they’re calling “the iTunes of oral sex for women.” Basically they've devised an app (for iOS and Android) that allows you to record your own unique brand of oral stimulation, which you can then upload into their store.

Your effort will join a catalogue of other recorded cunnilingus from porn stars, webcam models and other amateurs like you. Any lady with a Lovense “Lush” Bluetooth egg vibrator (which will run you about $100) can then download the experience of their choice. And the machine will recreate it for them.

Here’s the catch -- and it's a big one -- you have to LICK YOUR PHONE to record your style of oral pleasure. Well, ok, you can use your finger (or your mouse, if you're using the desktop app). But if you want it to be as close as possible to the real thing, you'll have to run your tongue all over your bacteria-laden phone. Maybe wipe it down with some alcohol first!

If you can get past that, you're good to go. The recordings will cost 99 cents a pop to download. But they're free through the end of March in celebration of Women's History Month.

It is indeed a historically strange and exciting time to be a woman.